By Matthew Bird

Prompt: Take a famous opening line and write a new story from it

It was a cold bright day in April and my grandmother exploded. “Call me Ismael,” the coroner said. “It is a truth universally acknowledged that exploded grandmothers are dead grandmothers. Consider the tortoise. It too would be dead were it in many many pieces.”

It did not fill me with comfort, but the coroner continued. “In my younger and more vulnerable years I almost exploded. But a dinosaur wandering around the castle saved me.”

“April,” I said, “is the cruellest the month.”


“Cos my grandmother exploded.”

“Don’t worry,” the coroner continued. “Pretty soon your grandmother’s pieces will be in hole in the ground in the uncharted backwaters of Nottingham.”

One thought on “Beginnings

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